1. Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!

2. I asked my teacher, “Can I go to the bathroom?” She said, “No, you can’t go to the bathroom. You have to go to the library and read a book for 10 minutes first.” I said, “But I already read a book for 10 minutes!” She replied, “That was your homework, not your bathroom break.”

3. Why did the math book stop smiling? Because it had too many problems.

4. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.

5. Why was the math book sad? Because it had too many problems and not enough solutions.

6. Why don’t eggs tell jokes? Because they might crack up!

7. I asked my teacher, “Can I have a day off tomorrow?” She said, “Sure, just don’t tell your parents you’re skipping school.” I said, “But I can’t keep a secret from my parents!” She replied, “That’s why I said ‘just don’t tell them.'”

8. I asked my teacher, “What do you call a bear with no teeth?” She said, “A gummy bear.” I said, “But that’s not a bear, it’s a candy!” She replied, “I said ‘a bear with no teeth,’ not ‘a bear with a candy belly’!”